Candyland

I’ve been told that on the outside I seem completely normal, I go to school, I have a part-time job, I want to do well so that I can have a bright future and  a good career. I’ve been told that I sound like the perfect kind of girl that anyone would want their son to marry. Yes, this may be true, I want to succeed, I want a future, I go to school and work like I’m supposed to, but do you know what goes on in my head? Do you know how I feel inside?

I feel so fucked up. I’m lost. I’m empty. I’m losing my faith. I’m ready to give up.

Inside my head I don’t feel like the rest, I don’t go through life like most people seem to. Sure I force myself to go to school and work, and I even force myself to hang out with people, but none of that is easy, I’m breaking inside. This uncontrollable sadness, emptiness, and hopelessness is too much for me to handle. If I didn’t seriously force myself to go to school, to go to work, and to hang out with “friends”, I’d never leave my bed, I’d stay there forever, crying my little heart out, because really, that’s all I want to do.

Never judge a book by its cover. One may seem fine on the outside, but you never know what they’re dealing with on the inside.